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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24709480">The ones left behind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orangepenguin24/pseuds/Orangepenguin24'>Orangepenguin24</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chicago Fire, Chicago PD (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, Hurt Matthew Casey, Protective Kelly Severide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:49:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,171</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24709480</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orangepenguin24/pseuds/Orangepenguin24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When young Andy Darden dies in a tragic accident the lives of his two best friends Matt and Kelly are sent spinning out of control.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Matthew Casey &amp; Jay Halstead, Matthew Casey &amp; Kelly Severide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Regret</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hope you enjoy.</p><p>TW- child abuse, death, violence </p><p>The first few chapters will be quite heavy but i promise things will get better for the friends. </p><p>This doesn’t follow canon at all.<br/>The boys are about 16</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A bitter silence hovered over Kelly as he ambled towards his destination, nowadays his walk to school was always long and tortuous, every few minutes he found himself turning around expecting to see Andy beside him goofing around and every time he felt a stab in his heart as he realised he’d never walk to school with his best friend again. He’d been making the journey to school alone for nearly two months but it still felt strange; life without Andy would never feel normal . Kelly headed inside the dreaded building and slowly walked through the empty halls, he didn’t care that he was late, he didn’t care much about anything anymore. When he reached his class he mumbled an apology to the teacher before walking towards his desk. As he sat down his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of somebody calling his name, he turned around to see an anxious Shay looking at him with eyes full of worry as she gestured to an empty desk in the corner of the room, Matt’s desk. Kelly released a shaky breath as realised for the third day in a row Matt was absent. The blonde never missed school, his father was extremely strict on attendance, Matt would turn up to school even if he was as green as broccoli and struggling to walk straight, something bad was definitely going on thought Kelly soberly. A few weeks ago Kelly would have been pleased to see that Matt had disappeared but now he was consumed with worry. However Kelly refused to show his concern for the blonde, he offered Shay a small shrug earning  a menacing glare from the girl. Just because he was concerned about Matt it didn’t mean he forgave him. Kelly just wanted Matt to return so he could go back to hating him. He shifted nervously in his seat as he went through all the reasons Matt could be missing, none of his plausible explanations were comforting. The more Kelly thought about Matt the faster his heart thumped in his chest. Regret and guilt washed over him as he recalled the last conversation they had.</p><p>It had been Kelly’s first day back at school after summer vacation, everyone else had already been back for a week but Kelly hadn’t been ready to return straight away. He had been sitting at a table in the cafeteria , Shay was talking excitedly next to him but he hadn’t been listening to what she was saying. His attention had been fixed on the blonde sat at another table surrounded by a group of boys smiling and laughing. When one of the boys  called Jay playfully shoved Matt something inside of Kelly snapped, He shot out of his seat and stormed over towards an unsuspecting Matt.<br/>
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he screamed as anger  ignited inside of him.<br/>
“K-Kelly” croaked Matt looking up from his plate of untouched food. At the time Kelly hadn’t noticed the dark bags under Matt’s eyes or the pained expression that appeared on the blondes face every time he moved.<br/>
“Replaced us already I see” snapped Kelly as he angrily slid Matt’s lunch off the table, sending it to the floor with a bang.<br/>
“Get a grip Kelly” Matt replied in a hollow voice as he stood up sluggishly and headed for the exit.<br/>
“Didn’t Andy mean anything to you” yelled Kelly as he grabbed Matt’s jackets sleeve .<br/>
“He’s barely gone a month and you’ve already moved on” He continued clenching his fists in anger.<br/>
“So what you’re allowed to hang out with Shay but he can’t spend time with us” cut in Jay  growing tired of Kelly’s childish outburst.<br/>
“It’s different and he knows it” growled Kelly, Matt shrugged off the angry boy’s grip on his jacket and continued walking.<br/>
“How’s it different Kelly?” Yelled Jay.<br/>
“I’m not the reason Andy’s dead” roared Kelly, suddenly Matt spun around and launched himself at Kelly. Everyone froze in place and watched on in a mix of excitement and worry as both boys started wildly throwing punches, it didn’t take long for Kelly to pin Matt’s frail body to the floor, Kelly was a lot bigger than scrawny Matt, normally the other boy had speed on his side but his body had been battered even before the fight started.<br/>
“It should have been you” Kelly screamed as a teacher pulled him away from the damaged boy. Kelly would never forgive himself if those became his last words to Matt.<br/>
-<br/>
Donna Boden sighed as she stared  mournfully at the phone in her hand. Her head was still spinning as she tried to process the information she had just received. Being the school’s head guidance councillor meant she was used to trying to help children in tough situations but the past three months has been extremely difficult. losing a student would never be easy.  During troubling times like this she often found herself lying  awake at night think about her students, wondering if she had done enough. As much as she hated to admit it over the last few months there had been lots of times when she questioned if she was really making a difference and after her toughest days she even considered moving to an easier career, but with the support of her husband she always arrived at the belief that she was exactly where she needed to be. Donna had seen a lot of struggling grieving students over the past few weeks but the two who needed someone to talk to the most had been refusing to cooperate with her. After the fight both Matt and Kelly had been forced to see her ; so far neither of them had opened up. However Kelly talked nonstop about random things like television and hockey in an attempt to annoy her so much that she wouldn’t want to see him again, but Donna refused to give up on the teen and often found herself trying to hide a smile as she listened to the boy’s antics. Where as Matt stared at his shoes until he was told he could leave, he only nodded or shook his head in response to questions and his appearance had deteriorated over the past few weeks, the poor boy looked like a zombie, she suspected he was underweight and the dark bruises under his eyes revealed that he hadn’t been sleeping. She believed there was more than just grief behind Matt’s appearance but she didn’t have any evidence to prove otherwise and as Matt was refusing to open up there was nothing she could do. Donna’s worry over the boys hadn’t been helped by the fact both boys came from difficult backgrounds. It had never been a hugger concern before because the two boys had become like family to each other and had always supported each other when their family lives became messy, but after Andy died the two boys had become enemies. Donna had an upsetting feeling that Andy and Kelly had been the only two people Matt trusted and could turn to. Donna was aware that both Kelly’s parents were out of the picture but he lived with a kind family friend, after Kelly had moved  his grades had dramatically increased and he spent significantly less time in detention.<br/>
Despite having a safe home she understood that Kelly still struggled with the absence of his parents, he harboured a lot of anger towards his father for leaving which resulted in his mother becoming unwell. Donna had encountered Benny Severide quite  a few times as he used to work with her husband, she had  never been keen on the man, he always seemed rude and entitled. As for Matt she and a few other teachers had suspected abuse but after an investigation CPS had claimed there hadn’t been anything they could do as there was no conclusive evidence.  Now as she sat her in office with her heart in her throat she wished she had pushed harder, surely she could have done more to prevent the horrible tragedy she’d just been informed of.<br/>
She wiped away a stray tear that had been trickling down her face and took a deep breath, once she had composed herself she rose to her feet and headed off in search of Kelly, the dark haired boy need to hear about Matt’s circumstances from her and not some cruel gossiping teenagers. Despite his icy treatment towards Matt she knew Kelly would always see the blonde as his younger brother.</p><p>-<br/>
Kelly glared at the faded clock hanging on the wall, with every second that ticked by the knot in his stomach tightened. He couldn’t face loosing another friend, as angry as he was at Matt he needed to know that the blonde was ok. Kelly felt completely helpless as he contemplated what he could do to help Matt, he tried texting him but there was no reply, which wasn’t unusual as the blonde never answered his damn phone. Before if Kelly was concerned about Matt he could turn to Christie if he was desperate but now the older teen was away at college meaning there was only one way to find out what was wrong with Matt. He groaned internally as he accepted the fact he would have to ditch school and head to missing boy’s  house. He knew it was selfish but he despised going to Matt’s house, to outsiders the house looked like your average family home but Kelly knew what happened when the doors were locked and no one was watching.<br/>
When the loud belle pierced through the noisy classroom  Kelly jumped out of his chair ignoring the horrible scraping sound it made and started towards the door. He weaved through the chaotic crowds of people filling up the halls as fast as he could. Matts ok he’s just sick, Kelly chanted to himself over and over as he darted towards the door when all of the sudden his body collided with something. Kelly quickly recovered from the shock and his eyes shot towards the cause of the collision, he was infuuriated to see Jay stood in front of him blocking the exit.<br/>
“Go away” snarled Kelly attempting to push past the stubborn boy.<br/>
“It’s about Matt” Jay announced in a sullen voice which sent shivers through Kelly’s body.<br/>
“What about him?” As much as he disliked Jay he knew Matt trusted him as they had grown up together. Kelly mentally scolded himself for not thinking of the other teen sooner,If anyone knew what was going on with Matt it would be Jay.<br/>
“Something seriously bad happened last night” admitted Jay trying to ignore how his voice shook with sorrow. He felt like he was suffocating as he found himself overwhelmed with guilt, he knew things had always been rough in the Casey household but he never thought it would come to this. For as long as Jay could remember Matt had lived in the house next door , they lived in a small rundown neighbourhood, everyone kept to themselves and there was an unspoken rule of staying out of each other’s business. Growing up the two boys were always together, whether at school or at home.  They spent many days outside playing catch together during the summer and when the harsh winter arrived the boys would often seek refuge from the cold  inside Jay’s cozy home, his mother had always been fond of Matt she stated he was a sweet gentle soul. Jay never asked Matt about the bruises littering his body or the yelling that often came from his house late at night, he knew the horrible answer and preferred to carry on as if he was completely oblivious. Matt spent most of his time at Jay’s house but after Jay’s mum died the summer before they started high school they drifted apart. Or more specifically Jay  pushed Matt away, Jay was funny and popular meaning he found new friends easily but shy lanky Matt had been left all alone. Despite being athletic and highly skilled when it came to baseball the boy was extremely socially awkward and preferred to keep to himself to avoid being ridiculed. Fortunately a stubborn Andy had noticed Matt and had immediately felt drawn to him.Together Andy and Kelly befriended the meek boy and took him under their wing. After loosing Andy and Kelly, Jay took it upon himself to watch out for Matt but the blonde had become a shell of his former self. Jay wished he’d noticed how much pain Matt was in, he chalked up the blondes ghostly appearance to Andy’s death but now he realised he’d missed the bigger picture.</p><p>A few days ago when Matt told him he was sick he’d believed him immediately, the blonde had been deathly pale the last few weeks , his cheeks were hollow and his movements were clumsy, Jay thought maybe it was due to a lack of sleep, after all if he had seen what Matt had that summer he probably wouldn’t sleep well either.<br/>
The horrible truth about his friends gloomy demeanour had smacked him in the face the night before. Jay has been sprawled out on his bed reading a book for English class when the sound of sirens sliced through the air. He’d rolled off his bed and gazed out of  his window, all of his breath was knocked out of him when he locked eyes on the alarming sight in front of him. A police car and ambulance were parked outside Matt’s house. Jay wasted no time in sprinting out of his room, downstairs and through the front door. The voices of the Paramedics and police officer's floated through the air, he was about to move closer towards the house in search of his friend when his heart plummeted, two paramedics exited the house with a gurney carrying a bloodied unresponsive body,  as they loaded the gurney into the back of the ambulance Nancy came stumbling out of the house sobbing hysterically, a police officer put an arm around her as let out an anguished cry’s the doors of the ambulance slammed closed.<br/>
“Jay?”<br/>
“What happened? Did his father do something?” Stuttered Kelly, he knew Matt lived with a monster, he couldn’t count how many times Matt had climbed through his bedroom window battered and bruised asking if he could stay the night. Kelly gulped as Jay nodded softly before opening his mouth.<br/>
“But Matt he-”<br/>
“He finally hit back”,<br/>
A few moments after the ambulance sped off into the distance a man dressed in normal clothes with a shiny badge dangling around his neck led a distraught Matt towards a black car parked on the curb.<br/>
“Mum” Matt cried as he looked towards the woman who was sobbing uncontrollably into the arms of a police officer. Nancy kept her body turned away from her son as she spoke with a voice full of venom.<br/>
“You’re not my problem anymore”, Matt stared numbly at his mother, his eyes were empty and his shoulders were slumped in defeat. Matt’s eyes flickered away from his mother and to the blood staining his hands and clothes. The events of the last hour replayed in Matt’s mind and he began to shake. He never wanted any of this to happen, he didn’t want to hurt him, he just wanted to be safe.<br/>
“Come on kid”  gently coaxed the man beside Matt. Jay had remained completely still as he watched his friend being taken away from his place on the sidewalk. That night would forever stay with Jay but he knew whatever had happened leading up to that moment must have been a million times worse. He dreaded to think what this would do to his already distressed friend.</p><p>-<br/>
Hank Voight carefully observed the dejected boy in front of him, he’d  been on his way home when he’d heard the call over the radio, his eagerness to get home had been quickly forgotten. The scene he was met with when he arrived would haunt him for the rest of his life, the young boy kneeling beside his father begging him to wake up as his mother remained frozen in the corner of the room. Hank had been trying to question the boy for hours but it was no use, the boy remained unresponsive as he stared at his hands. Matt had desperately tried washing off the crimson blood but no matter how hard he scrubbed his fathers blood clung to his pale hands.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Fear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Matt’s entire world is collapsing before his eyes.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW- descriptions of violence, child abuse and self injurious behaviour.<br/>This will probably be the heaviest chapter violence wise.<br/>I promise soon they’ll be some happy moments just bare with me.</p><p>This isn’t accurate at all, my knowledge of the American legal system is based on an hour of researching on google and watching law and order.</p><p>Thank you for the kind comments</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What the hell does that mean?” Yelled Kelly growing agitated, Jay’s words were swirling around his head, “He finally hit back” Kelly had a good idea what that meant and he didn’t like it. Matt’s father was a tall, burly man, he was bigger than Benny and much more volatile. Fighting back would be futile it would only end in more pain for the gangly blonde. <br/>“Kelly it’s bad, it’s really bad”.<br/>“Spit it out Jay, where’s Matt? Where’s my brother?”<br/>Donna rushed towards the sound of raised voices, the crowds of teenagers blocking up the halls were quickly dispersing as everyone headed into their classrooms. <br/>“Kelly” she called firmly before the distressed boy had chance to yell again.<br/>“Come on Kelly let’s go to my office, we need to talk” she announced in a softer tone, the boy gave her a soft nod before setting off towards her office.<br/>“You too Jay” she added as she took in the appearance of the distraught boy watching Kelly carefully, she was aware the two didn’t get along but they both shared a strong brotherly bond with Matt. <br/>-</p><p>Matt’s entire body was throbbing with pain, the agony spreading through him was drowning out the voice of the man in front of him. His head was spinning and he felt disoriented, he didn’t know where he was, the last thing he could remember was lying in bed trying to block out the pain. He gave up on trying to figure out what was going on and focused on the blood clinging onto his hands. He could feel the red substance burning his skin, in desperation he scratched at his hands and repeatedly wiped them on his trousers but it wasn’t working, his hands remained crimson.</p><p>Voight sighed as once again his questions were met with silence, they had been sat in a small hospital room for nearly five hours. They needed to examine Matt for injuries, his mother had already been examined and treated but Matt had been uncooperative so far. Every time they moved to touch him he let out a strangled scream, it was the only time the blonde would react, the rest of the time he would stare numbly at his feet as he scratched at his hands. Voight hadn’t even realised the boy was bare foot at first, he’d been in such a rush to get the blonde out of the house that he hadn’t acknowledged the fact Matt was clad in blood soaked pyjamas. They urgently needed to get the boy checked out and into some clean clothes.<br/>The doctor and Hank had decided not to administer a sedative as they understood that right now Matt needed to feel like he was in control.  The busy doctor had left the room a couple of hours ago after telling Maggie the nurse to call him when Matt was ready.<br/>“Matt if you don’t let them examine you soon-”,<br/>A knock at the door cut Voight off mid sentence but it didn’t matter as the catatonic boy hadn’t been listening in the first place.<br/>“I’ll be right back” he promised but Hank doubted the blonde had heard him, the boy’s mind was elsewhere . He stepped out into the hallway where a man with long shaggy grey hair was waiting.<br/>“Any luck yet?” Questioned the man, who was wearing a grim expression that made Voight’s stomach twist.<br/>“No. He’s shut down” admitted Voight as he scrubbed a shaky hand across his face.<br/>“What about you Al? did the mother talk?” Voight Asked after a few minutes. Alvin looked at his friend sadly. When Voight had told him they’d taken over a case from homicide he’d been confused, it was an open and shut case but Voight was heavily invested in it, which was probably why homicide had handed it over so willingly, everyone knew you didn’t get in Voight’s way when he set his mind to something. But after catching a glimpse of the boy at the centre of the investigation Alvin had immediately understood why the sergeant was so involved. The boy was only a few years older than Justin and he had the demeanour of a kicked puppy. The boys face appeared to be frozen with fear and his eyes were almost ghost like, they were saturated with a sadness he’d seen in the eyes of many abuse victims. Alvin hoped they could save the boy from more pain, he knew if they didn’t Voight would carry Matt’s case around on his shoulders for the rest of his life.<br/>“Yeah she talked, she claims it was Matt” revealed Alvin sullenly.<br/>“Damn it!” Cursed Voight, he had suspected that all along but he’d been hoping that for once his gut was wrong.<br/>“But there’s been suspicions of abuse for a while and the mothers covered in injuries from last night, a jury will see it was self defence and that he had no choice, he’ll be cleared” comforted Alvin.<br/>“That’s not good enough! The last thing that boy needs is to be put in front of a court, he’s barely holding it together now. Prosecution will rip him to shreds”<br/>“I know but there’s no other way” sighed Alvin.</p><p>Meanwhile Matt was growing increasingly distressed with every second that passed by. He could hear his mum crying, his dad shouting angrily,  plates smashing on the floor and then deafening sirens. As the events of the previous night flashed before his eyes his hands grew itchier and itchier, he needed to get rid of the blood, he needed to forget who it belonged to. Unexpectedly two hands tentatively grasped his wrists,<br/>“Im sorry” yelped Matt fearfully as his eyes darted around the room quickly, confusion flickered across his face as he realised he was in the hospital. He felt some of the tension in his body dissolve as his eyes locked on the owner of the hands, a woman with kind eyes who was offering him a small smile, her muffled voice floated in the air as he tried to pry his wrists from her grip but it was no use, she tightened her grasp slightly and crouched down in front of him causing him to squirm. He could feel her eyes boring into his soul. He wanted to scream at her to let go but no words came out. He began trying to free his wrists again when he was stopped by the sound of the door opening, his movements stopped abruptly and he instinctively hunched in on himself and stared at the floor. His body shook as footsteps approached.<br/> “I don’t know about you but I hate hospitals, but the sooner you let them check you over the sooner we can escape this rotten place” stated Voight in a calm voice pushing aside the sadness in his chest caused by the scared boys flinching. The blonde boy gulped before nodding minutely, if Voight hadn’t been watching the boy like a hawk he would have missed the small movement. <br/>Slowly the nurse let go of Matt, she watched as his fingers twitched as he resisted the urge to claw at his hands. <br/>“Ok Matt can you take your shirt off for me, Voight can leave if you’d prefer”,<br/>“Stay” mumbled Matt speaking for the first time since Voight had pried him away away from his fathers body.  Matt began slowly pulling his T-shirt off grunting every so often as the movement sent pain rippling through his body. Maggie moved towards a draw and took out a pair of scissors, not wanting to see the blonde struggle any longer.<br/>“On second thoughts this will be quicker and less likely to aggravate your injuries” commented Maggie, as Matt’s struggling ceased she began cutting away the fabric revealing bruises  of different sizes and colours marring his skin, his ribs were visible and there were various scars covering his torso. She’d treated many abuse victims over the years but it never got any easier. <br/>“Ok Matt you’re doing a really good job, do you mind if I get the doctor now?” She asked, Matt hummed in response knowing she wasn’t really asking. </p><p>The teen had remained rigid for the entire exam, the doctor was confident there was no internal bleeding; Matt had a few broken ribs and he’d likely be sore for a few days.  After the examination Maggie had found some clothes for Matt to change into. They hung off the boy making him appear even younger. Reluctantly Voight led the teen out of the hospital and into his car. It didn’t feel right treating Matt like a criminal but due to few incidents Voight was being watched closely by his supervisors, meaning the sergeant found himself being forced to do everything by the book.<br/>-</p><p>Three hours passed by with Matt sat in the interrogation room staring emotionlessly at the table, stark white bandages covered his hands hiding the stains his father’s blood had left behind. As yet  another question filled the air Matt felt the walls closing in.  He barely registered Voight leaving the room as he felt himself suffocating.<br/>“What is it?” Voight asked taking in Alvin’s blank expression as he entered the hallway.<br/>“Forensics just called, everything corroborated Nancy Casey’s story” announced Alvin before continuing sadly,<br/>“The prints on the baseball bat belonged to the victim and the prints on the knife were Matt’s”</p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Matt’s eyes landed on his reflection in the one way glass, the longer he looked the more his reflection began to look like his father, people always remarked how alike they looked, same blonde hair, same blue eyes, Matt had always found their likeness unsettling, he didn’t want to be like his father, he didn’t want to be a monster. <br/>“Matt” called a gravelly voice pulling him out his thoughts.<br/>“We found your prints on the knife and given your mums statement we’re going to have charge you. But I promise you I’m going to help you, ok. I promise no more harm will come to you” comforted Voight before adding reluctantly,<br/>“You have a hearing in an hour to find out if you’re eligible for bail, but don’t worry. Everything is going to be ok”</p><p>-<br/>Voight stood outside the court room with a tired looking Matt beside him as they waited for Nancy to appear, his attention shifted from the boy to Alvin walking hurriedly towards him.<br/>“His mother’s gone” whispered the detective as he pulled Voight to one side.<br/>“What do you mean she’s gone?”<br/>“She was released after questioning, she took off and no one can get a hold of her”<br/>“Doesn’t she know about Matt?”<br/>“We told her about the charges and the hearing but she didn’t seem to care” explained Alvin sombrely. Voight shook his head in annoyance before turning towards the teen stood rigidly.<br/>“ I’m sorry Matt I don’t think your mum’s coming”,  <br/>“Ok” replied the blonde instantly, despite Matt’s even tone and vacant expression Voight could see the sadness etched on the boys face, as they walked into the court room tears welled up in his blue eyes.</p><p>Matt was granted bail but there was no one to pay it, even if someone did pay his bail he had nowhere go, the courts wouldn’t just release him onto the streets, therefore he would probably end up in a group home. Unless his mother returned Matt was facing time in custody. <br/>“Keep your head down Matt, I promise I’ll get you out as soon as I can” assured Voight as Matt gazed emptily at the floor as the guards approached him.<br/>“Keep your head down, you’ll be ok” shouted Voight as he watched the broken teen being led away.</p><p>“Isn’t there anything you can do” yelled Voight at Matt’s appointed lawyer.<br/>“Not unless someone pays his bail and claims custody” explained the man. A frown appeared on Alvin’s face as he watched Voight angrily kick a nearby bin, after less than twenty four hours Voight had become deeply attached to Matt and couldn’t bare to see him suffer anymore.<br/>“I helped Erin maybe I can-”<br/>“Hank you don’t have the money, not with Camille’s treatment still going on and even if you did bail him out where would he go? You can’t take home every struggling teenager you meet, you’ve already got Justin and Erin at home you haven’t got the space for Matt” reasoned Alvin.<br/>“He doesn’t deserved to be locked up”</p><p>-<br/>The sound of Jay nervously bouncing his leg up and down filled Donna’s office.<br/>“Would you stop doing that” growled Kelly slamming his pen down in frustration. They’d been waiting in the colourful office ever since Donna had led them there that morning. She arranged for both of the boys work to be sent to her office, she knew it was best to keep a close eye on them, also she doubted that the two boys would leave willingly without more information on Matt. So far all they knew was that his dad was dead and Matt had been taken in by the police for questioning, Donna was currently with the headteacher searching for answers consequently leaving the two confused and distressed boys alone.<br/>“I’m sorry” mumbled Jay.<br/>“I’m just really worried about Matt” added the upset boy.<br/>“And you think I’m not?” Kelly snapped.<br/>“Well it’s not like you’ve given a damn about him recently”,<br/>“Shut up, you don’t understand” yelled Kelly but his anger quickly drained away and he slumped down in his chair.<br/>“I was angry but I never stopped caring about him”sighed Kelly, guilt was rampaging through his entire body, he felt bile rise in his throat as he realised how defeated and sickly Matt had looked recently, he had let his anger come between him an Matt, if Andy was alive he’d give him an earful thought Kelly shamefully. <br/>“But you’re no different to me Jay, you threw him away like a broken toy, when you didn’t need him anymore”,<br/>“I know, I should have done more to help him” replied Jay in a quiet voice full of regret.<br/>“We failed him didn’t we?”<br/>“No, you didn’t” interrupted Donna, she’d been about to enter the room earliwhen she’d overheard the two talking.<br/>“But We knew” replied Jay his voice heavy with guilt. They both knew about the abuse but had been to afraid to say anything.<br/>“We knew about his dad” Jay cried, a sad smile graced Donna’s face she knew how close the boys were to Matt, she’d be surprised if they hadn’t known.<br/>“It’s not your fault boy’s, the only person to blame for this is Matt’s father”,<br/>“Do you know anything more about Matt?” Asked Kelly breaking his silence, Donna’s smile faltered and Kelly could see the sadness in her eyes.<br/>“He’s being charged with his fathers death, he’ll remain in custody until the case goes to trial”<br/>“Isn’t there something you can do?” yelled the boys in unison. <br/>“No, I wish there was but all we can do is be there for him” responded Donna hoping the boys didn’t hear the cracks in her voice. As soon as she’d heard the news she’d looked into getting Matt released into her custody, her and boden had fostered children before in the past but CPS refused to place someone awaiting sentencing with young children , she understood it was a safety precaution but she had no doubt in her mind that Matt would never hurt Terrence, he wasn’t a cold blooded killer he was a desperate boy.</p><p> </p><p>-<br/>Since leaving the court room Matt had been operating on auto pilot, he’d been taken to the juvenile detention centre and he was now sat numbly on the edge of a lumpy bed, dressed in an orange jumpsuit. As he stared at one of the bare walls surrounding him he began replaying the  the events of the last few days in his head in an attempt to work out how he ended up here.</p><p> A few days ago the school had called home saying they were concerned about how  he was coping after Andy’s death, his dad was fuming when he found out, he hated having other people involved in their business, he thought Matt had been spreading lies to the teachers. After that Matt had to stay home until he healed from his “accidental fall” down the stairs. His father had completely avoided him afterwards and the Casey household had been submerged in a tense silence, His father was like a ticking time bomb, both Matt and his mother had been anticipating his fathers outburst but neither of them had expected it to be so severe.</p><p>Matt had been curled up in his bed mentally urging the agony to go away, he ached all over and there was a horrible thumping in his head which was buried under a thick blanket, he was desperately trying to shut out the rest of the world. He felt a twinge of pain as a faint rumbling reached his ears, slowly he poked his head out from underneath the covers and fear spread through him as he easily identified the sound of his father yelling. He stumbled out of his room and down the stairs, he lingered by the doorway listening to his fathers booming voice, hoping it was a simple argument which would end with his father storming out of the house and heading to the nearest bar. He could hear his father screaming something about another phone call from school. When his father grabbed the baseball Matt had left by the black door Matt abandoned his hiding place and ran into the room as fast as his battered body would let him. However Matt’s arrival didn’t stop his father from swinging the bat angrily knocking various items off the counter tops and walls, his mother retreated into a nearby corner and huddled in on herself as plates and glasses were sent flying in her direction, Matt pleaded desperately for him to stop and stood firmly in front of his mother. Abruptly his father turned his attention away from destroying the kitchen and focused on the woman cowering in the corner, he dropped the bat, effortlessly shoved Matt out of the way and grabbed Nancy by the arms pulling her into a standing position, as his father raised his fist Matt’s eyes landed on the bat discarded on the floor, his body screamed in protest as he stumbled towards the wooden object.<br/>“Matt no” shrieked his mother as her eyes locked on the teen. Matt froze as his father whipped around, fear washed over him as his father tackled Matt to the ground before he could reach out and grab the bat.<br/>“Nice try boy” Matt’s father snarled in his ear, his fathers warm breath grazed his neck, Matt let out a cry as the older man’s entire weight pushed down on his already battered body. As he felt the pressure lift off Matt let out a deep breath and scrambled into a sitting position just in time to see his father pick up the bat and head back towards him. He crouched down menacingly in front of Matt and raised the bat behind his head, the blondes heart hammered in his chest and he screws his eyes closed, as Matt placed his hand’s on the floor in an attempt to brace himself he felt something cold, he grasped it in his hand and lunged towards his father plunging the blade into his fathers abdomen. As his father gasped in shock and collapsed onto the floor terror engulfed Matt. He let the knife fall to the ground as he rushed to his fathers side, he never wanted to hurt him. He pleaded desperately for his father to wake up as he placed his hands over the dark red patch spreading over his shirt, he could hear his mother whimpering in the corner as his father murmured in shock.</p><p>Tears streamed down Matt’s face, he deserved to be locked away for the rest of his life. First Andy and now his father. Death followed him everywhere.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed this chapter , any criticism welcome.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Guilt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There’s a lot of people out there who care about Matt despite the blonde feeling completely alone.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoy this chapter.<br/>Sorry it jumps a bit from person to person.</p><p>Thank you for reading the story so far.  :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jay’s head was spinning as he headed home, the sound of his brother talking did nothing to ease the dull ache assaulting his head. Will had been babbling happily ever since Jay met him at the bus stop like he did everyday. The younger boy had noticed the glum look on the teens face immediately and had decided to make it his mission to try and cheer up his older brother. Unbeknownst to the eleven year old there was nothing he could possibly say that would make Jay feel better. The upset teen felt as if his head was going to explode, over ten years worth of memories were flickering through his mind, he recalled every time he’d seen Matt with a suspicious injury, every time he’d heard plates smashing in Matt’s house, every time Matt flinched at someone shouting, every time Jay had turned a blind eye to the abuse his friend had been suffering. What if he had told someone about the yelling that used to come from Matts house late at night or the bruises that frequently marred Matts Body? Maybe now Matt would be surrounded by good kind people in a safe place,  instead of being locked up in a juvenile detention centre waiting to go to court for killing his own father. </p><p>Jay’s thoughts were interrupted by someone tugging at his jacket,<br/>“Damn it Will, what is it?” Snapped Jay, regret swept over him when the younger boy recoiled, <br/>“I’m sorry, it’s been a long day” sighed Jay as he wrapped an arm around Will’s shoulders bringing the upset boy closer.<br/>“What’s a matter Will?” asked Jay gently,<br/>“I thought you said Matt was going a way for a while” mumbled Will his eyes fixed straight ahead.<br/>“H-he is” replied Jay sadly, when Will had asked about the police officers swarming their street that morning Jay had told him they were checking  that the area was safe and that Matt had to stay somewhere else in the meantime. The younger boy had been upset by the news that Matt was going away for awhile, the blonde was the only one of Jay’s friends who treated Will as his own person instead of seeing him as Jay’s annoying little brother.<br/>“Then who’s that?” Questioned Will pointing towards someone stood outside Matt’s house. Jay’s heart was beating rapidly in his chest as his eyes darted towards the figure he hadn’t noticed, he hadn’t even realised that they had reached their street, his eyes had been glued to the sidewalk for most of the walk home.<br/>“Kelly?” Asked Jay as they neared the boy gazing intently at the house, Kelly was stood behind a  strip of police tape that separated him from Matt’s house. The amount of police officers around had significantly decreased but there was still a solitary police car parked outside the house, Jay was surprised the police officer protecting the scene hadn’t shooed Kelly away yet.<br/>“What are you doing here?” questioned Jay as Kelly continued to stare at the building with eyes full of despair.<br/>“I uh, I needed to see, I guess a part of me hoped-”<br/>“It was all a dream”finished Jay as he observed the distraught boy in front of him, Jay had briefly hoped the same thing, he desperately wanted this all to be just a horrible nightmare, he wished  he’d suddenly wake up to find Matt playing basketball outside.<br/>“I guess this whole stupid mess is real” sighed Kelly his shoulders slumping in defeat.<br/>“Yeah” sighed Jay before turning towards his little brother.<br/>“Go inside Will” Jay whispered to the boy who was watching Kelly intently,<br/>“But Jay I-”,<br/>“Now Will” demanded Jay causing the boy to pout as he began dragging his feet towards the house.<br/>“I’ll come inside soon Will, I’ll even play that video game you’re always talking about” promised Jay in a softer tone. Will stopped and beamed brightly at Jay before running down the path and heading inside. Jay moved to stand next to Kelly, their shoulders were almost touching but if the other boy had noticed their closeness he didn’t say anything.<br/>“He didn’t deserve this, he didn’t deserve any of it” muttered Kelly his eyes fixed on Matt’s bedroom window. <br/>“What are we going to do Kelly?”<br/>“I don’t know”.</p><p>-</p><p>They stood side by side staring at the building for what felt like hours until a loud voice captured their attention, Kelly turned around expecting to see a police officer glaring at him but was surprised to see a man standing outside the house Jay’s younger brother had ran into earlier.<br/>“You two going to stand outside all evening or are you going to come in for something to eat?”called the large man in a gruff voice. Jay wiped his eyes before smiling weakly at the man Kelly presumed was his father,<br/>“I better go” said Kelly before turning to leave.<br/>“What’s a matter? do you think a guy like me can’t cook?” remarked the man,<br/>“N-no sir, I just I-”<br/>“I’m just playing with you, gosh you kids are too easy to mess with these days” chuckled the man before disappearing inside the house.<br/>“Look I know we don’t get along but why don’t you come inside? We can be miserable together” suggested Jay. Kelly considered the offer, he didn’t want to be alone right now but he didn’t feel like going home either and explaining the horrible day to his mum’s friend Mary. Kelly nodded to the other boy and they headed inside together.</p><p> </p><p>-<br/>Elsewhere Matt’s sister Christie stared blankly at the man sat in front of her, she’d been busy writing an essay when she heard a knock at the door, when her roommate led a police officer wearing a grim expression into the room panic had washed over her, she had been terrified that something bad had happened to Matt. After the officer sat down and revealed the events of the previous night she had stared at him emptily. Just as the police officer was about to repeat his statement she erupted into laughter. However within seconds the mirthless laughter turned into heart wrenching sobs. Her baby brother had been arrested. Christie’s sobs showed no sign of stopping, when she thought about her brother she didn’t think of the lanky teen she’d left behind, she thought about the little boy who used to wander into her room after a bad nightmare gripping onto a teddy bear with one hand and sucking the thumb of the other. In her mind he’d always be that innocent little defenceless boy. She should never have left him behind. She began hastily throwing things into a bag as soon as the officer was gone. As she headed to the nearest bus station regret weighed her down, she should have gone to a local college or waited until she was eighteen to leave and taken Matt with her. She would never forgive herself for leaving Matt in that toxic household. </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Voight exhaled before raising his hand to knock on the door in front of him, he’d barely slept all night thinking of the young teen locked up, he hoped the person behind the door would be able to  help him free Matt. As his fist made contact with the hard wood he wondered what he would do if he didn’t get the answers he needed.<br/>“Come in” called a warm familiar voice, Hank slowly pushed the door open to reveal a woman sat behind a desk covered with pieces of paper belonging to a small blue file.<br/>“Hi Donna I heard you know quite a bit about Matt Casey, I was hoping you could help me out?” announced Voight, Alvin was currently talking to the headmaster but Voight doubted it would be much help, the man had admitted that he barely knew who Matt was as they had over six hundred students  but he did know Matt attended meetings with the guidance councillor. Voight was familiar with Donna, him and Wallace had been friends for years, and while he didn’t know her as well as Wallace he did know she was dedicated to the students she worked with.<br/>“I’ll do anything to help him”  she admitted.<br/>“I’ve been looking through his file all morning trying to work out if there’s anyone who can take him in” she explained as she spotted the man staring at the papers sprawled out in front of her.<br/>“Any luck?” he asked despite knowing the likelihood of finding relatives to look after Matt was slim.<br/>“No, he has no extended family willing to take him and I  doubt his sister would be granted custody given her age and the fact she’s living in a dormitory, have you managed to locate his mother?”<br/>“She’s gone, look I’ve been trying all my contacts to see if there’s anyone who can help get Matt out now but I haven’t had much luck, so let’s focus on making sure his trial is quick and painless” <br/>“Of course, what do you need to know?”</p><p>As Hank walked to his car he felt some of  his tension ease, with the proof that teachers had concerns over injuries in the past, the bruises and scars found on Matt and the fact Matt had a spotless record at school ( the fight with Kelly had been kept off the record at Donna’s request, as both boys had been grieving) would hopefully be enough to prove Matts actions were justified. </p><p>-<br/>Matt’s eyes were fixed on the bare ceiling, he was unaware of his surroundings but that was probably for the best. A vacant expression was spread across Matt’s face and his blue eyes had lost there sparkle, dark bags were forming under his eyes as he had been awake all night; the bandages that had been wrapped around Matt’s hands were absent and he’d begun scratching at his hands again. The only sound Matt could hear was his heart thumping in his chest and with every beat he thought about how his father was gone forever, he’d never take another breath, his heart would never beat again because of him.  He deserved to be locked up, everybody was better off this way.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m not sure who’s older in the show Will or Jay or the age difference , but I like the dynamic of younger Will and big brother Jay.</p><p>Thank you for reading.<br/>Stay safe.  :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Anger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Christie visits her distressed brother but will the young boy welcome her with open arms?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi I hope you enjoy this chapter. <br/>Things will get better eventually for the blonde I promise.<br/>Any criticism welcome, I know my grammar needs improvement as well as my dialogues, so any advice welcome.</p><p>Please enjoy, thank you for the comments.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Christie gazed out of the foggy window of the bus, she was trying desperately to block out the thoughts that had been circling her head ever since she’d spoken to the police officer the day before. Despite her best efforts she couldn’t stop imagining her little brother clad in an orange jumpsuit locked inside a small dark cell. Matt was skinny for his age and even though at school he’d always been able to handle himself in a fight she didn’t think he’d last very long in juvie, the hardened kids would be more violent than the arrogant bullies he encountered at school. She nervously glanced at the time displayed on her phone, it was almost mid-day meaning she had a good chance of being able to see Matt. But before she could be reunited with her brother she had to speak to the detective on Matt’s case, the officer who had visited her at college had given her the phone number of Hank Voight the man in charge, she had  hoped for Matt’s sake that  he was a decent person and not like the stubborn angry cops you see in tv shows. But when she reluctantly called the sergeant she had been pleasantly surprised by the kindness in his gravelly voice and the fondness in which he spoke about her brother, she had no doubt in her mind that he was doing everything he could to help her brother. However the man did not disclose many details of the case, when she asked for more information about what happened he said he preferred to tell her in person. Towards the end of their conversation the sergeant promised to meet her at the bus station. </p><p>When the bus finally came to a halt after a long journey she wasted no time in grabbing her bag and rushing down the aisle.  A few seconds later Christie was stood in the middle of the station tugging nervously at the strap of the tatty bag slung over her shoulder, her eyes scanned the station anxiously searching for someone who resembled a police sergeant. Finally a familiar scratch voice captured her attention.<br/>“Christie?” She turned to see a tired looking man heading towards her, the badge hanging around his neck signified that he was the man she was looking for.<br/>“Yes” she responded in a tired voice as she gave the man a shy smile.<br/>“Hank Voight we spoke on the phone, it’s nice to meet you in person” greeted Hank. He scanned the girls deflated posture and the crestfallen look on her face.<br/>“Come on I’ve think you’ve waited long enough to see your brother” said Voight understanding how eager she was to see Matt.</p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Christie’s heart hammered violently in her chest as two burly guards led her and Voight down a dark hallway, it wasn’t visiting hours yet but Voight had managed to get them in under the pretence that he was questioning Matt further about the incident, this time with a supportive family member present. As they neared a small room at the end of the long hallway her palms were sweaty and a wave of nausea washed over her, Voight had shared every grim detail of her fathers death that he was aware of. She was immensely relieved that the monster who called himself a father was finally gone but she wished it hadn’t come at the cost of her brothers innocence. She knew Matt well enough to know he’d never forgive himself for what he had done, Christie wished it had been her who plunged a knife into their father, she knew she could live with the guilt of his death but she wasn’t sure her kindhearted brother could.</p><p>As they reached a tall metal door at the end of the corridor Hank paused and turned towards her, his eyes were full of concern and another emotion Christie identified as fear. She could sense his sudden apprehension at letting her see Matt but she didn’t care, she needed to se her brother.<br/>“The last time I saw him Christie he wasn’t doing so good” warned Hank, he didn’t know who he was going to find behind the door, a broken teen riddled with guilt or an emotionless shell of a boy.</p><p>Hank slowly pushed the door open and walked into the boxy room, it was the room commonly used for lawyers to talk in private with their clients. Matt was sat behind a small table in the middle of the room and a guard was lingering in a corner behind him. At first Matt had been staring off into the distance but as soon as he saw Voight a small grateful smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. Hank heard Christie illicit a sharp gasp as she took in her brother’s dilapidated appearance, dark bags marred the skin under his eyes, his complexion was ghostly pale and his hands were covered in painful looking scratch marks. When Matt’s eyes landed on the older teen his smile promptly slipped away, he glared at Christie with steely eyes and gritted his teeth in annoyance .<br/>“Hey Matty”greeted Christie, ignoring the boys hostile appearance as she approached the table separating them.<br/>“What are you doing here?” Asked Matt in a firm voice devoid of any warmth or kindness.<br/>“I heard what happened” Christie responded in the most comforting voice she could muster.<br/>“So? why do you care?” Sneered the teen, Voight tensed at Matt’s attitude. This was the liveliest he had seen the boy so far and he was starting to wish Matt would go back to ignoring everyone while staring off into the distance.<br/>“Matt?” Gasped Christie in a weak voice, this wasn’t the sweet sensitive boy she had left behind.<br/>“You moved on, you never gave a damn about me before so don’t pretend now” shouted Matt rising out of his chair. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt like he was going to collapse. Christie was his sister, he wanted nothing more than to pull her into a hug and start begging her not to leave him again ; he knew how selfish that would be. Christie deserved to live a normal life at college, it wasn’t fair to drag her back into the screwed up life she had escaped. She could make something of herself and live a happy life, Matt would forever be tainted by his fathers murder but Christie could move on. The young blonde would never forgive himself if he was the reason she was miserable for the rest of her life.<br/>“Matt you know that’s not true, you’re my little brother, I love you.”<br/>“Lies” shrieked Matt, the only way to keep himself from bursting into tears and seeking Christie’s comfort was to imagine that she was his mother. Every single word he was about to say was what he longed to tell Nancy but never would.<br/>“Please Matt I’m sorry, I never should have left you behind but please let me make up for it” pleaded Christie.<br/>“How? Have you got a time machine, can you go back and stop me from being born ” sniped Matt in a voice full of venom. His words slapped Christie across the face and a agonising sadness filled her heart.<br/>“No Matt but I-“<br/>“I don’t need your help Christie” interrupted Matt as he grabbed fistfuls of his blonde hair in frustration.<br/>“Well can we at least talk” Christie begged barely keeping her tears from spilling out. She began to reach out to stop Matt from tugging at his hair but decided against it, when her brother was distressed he always responded negatively to contact.<br/>“I have nothing to say to you” snapped Matt, his face had flushed a dark red.<br/>“Please Matty”,<br/>“I never want to see you again” shouted Matt cutting off her desperate pleas, he didn’t know how much longer he could last.<br/>“Come on Matt please let’s talk about this” she begged once more.<br/>“What is there to talk about? You left, you didn’t care about what would happen to me. You turned your back on me because it was the easy option” roared Matt, with every word he became louder and louder. Voight was hovering tensely beside Christie watching the heated exchange, he was silently debating whether or not to intervene. Both of the siblings were becoming hysterical, Matt looked like he he was going to explode in rage while Christie looked like she was moments away from bursting into tears. However he decided interfering would only further upset Matt , the boy tended to shrink away from males in authority, Voight was the only exception and he didn’t want to risk loosing the boys trust.<br/>“But now that dad is dead and I’m locked up you feel guilty. You only came back so everybody could say wow look at wonderful Christie, she left college to save her broken psychotic brother“<br/>“Nobody would say that Matt, you’re not broken” insisted Christie feeling a sob catch in her throat. She wiped away a stray tear before continuing shakily.<br/>“Besides I don’t care about everyone else’s opinion. I love you Matt, you’re the reason I didn’t leave home sooner, all I want is to be there for you like I should have been these past few months”. Matt tightened his grip on his hair and shook his head in irritation.<br/>“I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. You’re not my sister!” Screamed Matt when Christie made no movement towards the door. He just wanted her to get out, he’d reluctantly accepted that the only way to make her leave was to upset her.<br/>“Well you’ll always be my brother” declared Christie sincerely. She took in a deep breath as she stared at her brother in shock. His words stung and she found herself trying to push down the mix of devastation and anger bubbling inside of her.<br/>“You’re just the traitor who left us behind” yelled Matt, with those words something snapped inside of his sister.<br/>“Well at least I’m not a murder” bellowed Christie, as soon as the words slipped out of her mouth she wished she could take them back.<br/>“Matt I’m sorry I didn’t mean it ” she apologised feebly but it was too late the damage had already been done.<br/>“Yes you did, Now run on back to college because I don’t need you” yelled Matt as he slammed his hands down on the table, the guard lingering in the corner moved to restrain Matt but Voight raised his hand, despite how angry Matt was he knew he would never hurt his sister intentionally, also restraining the boy would only escalate the situation.<br/>“You sound just like dad” mumbled Christie remembering how her father had reacted to her going to college, she was tired of fighting, she cast one last look at the broken boy in front of her.<br/>“Have a nice life Matt” she sneered before storming out of the room. Hank was torn between running after the distraught girl or talking to matt; as the blonde boy seemed to be too wound up to listen let alone talk he decided to dash out of the room.</p><p>“Christie wait!” Called Hank as he ran after the shattered girl.<br/>“He’s right. Coming here was a mistake” she sighed defeatedly.<br/>“No he wasn’t right, he’s just upset and scared” comforted Hank but Christie continued to walk away.<br/>“if you visit in a few days time I’m sure he will be ok” added the sergeant, with his father dead and his mother missing, Christie was all the young teen had.<br/>“Sorry Voight, thanks for trying to help but I’m not wasting any more of my time,I’m going back to college” Christie stated before disappearing through the doors with a guard closely following her. Hank exhaled as he scrubbed a hand across his face, he had never anticipated Matt to react like that.</p><p>He hesitated outside of the room holding Matt for a few minutes, preparing himself for seeing Matt again, the boy had been extremely distressed when Christie left and Hank was worried about what sort of state he would be in now. When he reentered the small room Matt was slumped over on the table with his head buried in his arms, all of the boys rage appeared to have melted away.<br/>“Matt” called Voight in a soothing tone as he reached out to touch Matt’s arm ; unfortunately the young boy flinched away instantly.  A few seconds later he lifted his head slightly so Hank could see the pain in his eyes.<br/>“Why did you bring her here?” Croaked Matt.<br/>“I thought you’d want to see her, she cares about you Matt. She was coming whether I brought her or not”,<br/>“You should have sent her away” whined Matt as he clumsily scrubbed at the big fat tears that streaking down his hollow cheeks.<br/>“Look Matt I get that you’re angry but”<br/>“I’m not angry, not at her anyway” stated Matt abruptly in a shaky voice. <br/>“I would have left too if I was the older sibling. Moving away gave her a chance at a better life, she doesn’t deserve to be dragged back into my mess” explained Matt dejectedly. He had been overjoyed for Christie when she got accepted by a college far away from home, he’d dreamt of running away his whole life, leaving behind their cold hearted parents. Now Matt had become the very monster he’d vowed to get away from. It didn’t matter what happened to Matt anymore, whether he stayed in prison for the next ten years or was released and attended to college, his father’s blood would always be on his hands, he’d always be a murderer.<br/>“Did it ever occur to you that I want to stay here? I killed someone I don’t deserve a better life”<br/>“You had no choice, it was you or him” stated Hank matter-of-factly.<br/>“ I should have let him kill me, I’d rather be dead than have to live with the knowledge that I killed my own father. I’m where I belong.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading.<br/>Sorry, my knowledge of the prison system is very limited.</p><p>Have a good day:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Defeat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jay and Kelly desperately try to help their honorary little brother.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you enjoy this chapter.<br/>My writing definitely needs improving so any criticism welcome.<br/>Thank you for reading;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kelly anxiously chewed on his lip as he gently knocked on the door of Jay’s house, he felt a small twinge of pain as his bruised knuckles collided with the door. Over the past week Kelly had become a regular guest at the Halstead house, he was by no means best friends with Jay but right now the boy was the only person who understood how he was feeling. They were united in their guilt for what had happened to their best friend, both boys had been overwhelmed with regret ever since Matt had been arrested over a week ago. </p><p>A few moments passed by before Kelly heard footsteps approaching, the door opened and Kelly came face to face with Pat Halstead. The older man took one look at him before wandering off leaving the door wide open. Kelly followed the man inside, he had learnt over the last few days that leaving the door open was the older man’s ways of saying come in. Kelly watched the man with a small smile. Despite having a similar gruff demeanour to his own father, Pat was nothing like Benny. His father always liked to play up to a crowd, he liked being centre of attention, where as Pat Halstead didn’t seem to care at all about what other people thought, not even his own sons. The man rarely engaged in conversation and if he did it was always purposeful. Pat Halstead preferred to be left alone, he was happiest in solitude.<br/>“Hurry up Jay, your friend is here again” yelled Pat as he stumbled towards the kitchen where Will was sat at the counter happily spooning cereal into his mouth.<br/>“Hi Kelly” mumbled the young boy excitedly between mouthfuls.<br/>“Morning Will” greeted Kelly as he lingered by the doorway, even though he’d been around the Halstead house a lot the past few days he still felt like an intruder.<br/>“Jay’s just getting ready, sit down ” instructed Pat in a voice that left no room for negotiation. When Kelly obediently sat down next to Will Pat pushed an empty bowl in front of him. Wordlessly Will passed him over the box of cereal before returning his focus to his own food. Kelly mumbled his thanks before reluctantly filling the bowl, he’d already eaten but he didn’t want to appear rude. As he picked up a spoon he wondered if they used to do this for Matt, he knew when Matt’s father was in a bad mood the young boy often went without meals. Kelly also knew Matt was too proud to admit when he was hungry and despised asking for help, he guessed that was the reason Pat had automatically given him breakfast without addressing what he was doing and why. </p><p>A few moments later Will stood up and headed upstairs, as one halstead disappeared another appeared, Jay shuffled into the kitchen and took Will’s seat without muttering so much as a hello. But Kelly didn’t mind, his dislike for Jay was slowly slipping away and he found himself enjoying the other boy’s company. They ate in a comfortable silence and only once breakfast was finished did Jay finally speak.<br/>“My dad said he’d drop us off, he doesn’t start work till later, but we’ll have to get the bus back” explained Jay earning a small nod from Kelly. It was a normal school day but a few days ago the boys had landed themselves in hot water and as a result they were both on suspension until the following week.</p><p>The news of Matt’s current predicament had spread around the school like wild fire, everyone knew quiet Matt Casey star of the baseball team had been arrested for killing his own father. However they didn’t know about the abuse Matt had endured, they didn’t know that Gregory Casey had gotten everything he deserved. Therefore everyone who didn’t know what sort of person Matt really was had branded him a heartless killer ; only a few people were stupid enough to voice their opinions in front of Kelly and Jay. When foul mouthed Ted Griffin asked Jay how he felt about living next door to a murderer he snapped, Jay had immediately punched Ted sparking a fight between them and Ted’s slimy friends. Kelly had seen the fight and immediately leapt to Jay’s defence, the boys gave as good as they got but the brawl ended in a trip to the principles office. Ted and his friends got off lightly with a week of detention each but both Jay and Kelly had been involved in a few fights already that year, despite understanding the boys motives the principle had no other choice than to suspend the boys for the rest of the week. </p><p>Pat Halstead would never tell his son but if he had been in Jay’s position he would have done exactly the same, from what he had heard that Ted Griffin deserved to get his ass handed to him.<br/>Fortunately Kelly’s legal guardian Rachel had also shared Pat’s understanding. The last few days the boys had spent their free time searching for relatives and friends of Nancy Casey, they were hoping to find someone who could take in Matt or even point them in the direction of Nancy Casey. Jay believed if they talked to her they could convince her to come back but Kelly wasn’t so sure. Personally he’d always hated her as much as he hated Matt’s father, he knew she wasn’t to blame for the physical abuse Matt suffered but she was far from a loving mother. She was extremely manipulative, always telling Matt that they’d been happy before he was born, she made the blonde believe his fathers violent actions were all his fault. If it wasn’t for the fact Matt needed her to rescue him from prison Kelly would be celebrating the fact that the rotten woman was finally gone.</p><p>-<br/>As the boys waited outside Pat Halstead’s car they watched in amusement as Will trudged down the path.<br/>“Can’t I come with you two” whined the younger boy,<br/>“Nope you’ve got school” Jay  responded smirking.<br/>“Well what if I get suspended like you?” Asked Will with a mischievous grin, Kelly tried to stifle a chuckle as he watched the younger boy’s antics.<br/>“Don't even think about it” broke in Pat in a firm voice as he appeared on the porch, Will huffed in defeat  before dragging his feet towards the bus stop.</p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>After a relatively short journey the unlikely duo hopped out of the car, Jay wished his father goodbye while Kelly examined the house in front of them. After their search to find someone to take in Matt failed they decided to take a trip to Nancy’s place of work, a small diner not far from when Matt lived. Nancy's sleazy boss had refused to hand over any information, when the two boys  headed for the exit a waitress bumped into Jay, after recovering from the collision he realised she’d slipped something into his jacket pocket, it was a torn piece of paper with an address messily scribbled across it.</p><p>Now as the two boys stared at the building in front of them confusion melded with surprise washed over them,<br/>“Are you sure this is the right place?” inquired Kelly sceptically.<br/>“Yes, dad was positive” said Jay looking down at the crumpled paper in his hand before looking back at the grand house in front of them. It was triple the size of Jay’s house and it was surrounded by a large luscious green garden. The building only increased the boys curiosity, neither of them had a clue who they would find inside the house. <br/>“Maybe the waitress gave you a fake address” suggested Kelly scrunching his eyebrows together.<br/>“I guess there’s only one way to find out” Jay replied before starting up the brick path leading to a large wooden door. Kelly lingered behind Jay as the other boy rang the door bell, they waited patiently but there was no answer. They tried ringing the bell a few more times but each time they were met with silence.<br/>“What now?” Questioned Jay glumly.<br/>“I don’t know, we’ve run out of family and friends to talk to” Kelly sighed pressing his hand against his forehead.<br/>“But we need to get Matt out of that dreadful place” stated Kelly in a more lively determined tone.<br/>“I know” sighed Jay. They’d spoken to the detective on Matt’s case a few days ago; when they asked if they could see Matt the older man had told them that Matt was refusing visitors. Also their questions about Matt’s current state of mind had been met with a grim expression followed by the sergeant promising that he was trying his best to get Matt out.</p><p> </p><p>“Excuse me” called a feminine voice, the boys looked up to see a smartly dressed woman standing in front of them, she looked a similar age to Nancy. The two boys had been too deep in thought earlier to notice the fancy car pulling up and the woman stepping out. The lady looked slightly intimidated by the two teenagers stood on her porch.<br/>“I- uh sorry” mumbled Kelly as they turned around and faced the annoyed woman.<br/>“What do you want?” Asked the woman confused as she eyed the two boys.<br/>“We were hoping you knew a Nancy Casey?” At Jays question the woman’s expression instantly turned cold.<br/>“I think you better leave” she stated as she moved past the boys and began fiddling with the front door.<br/>“Please we really need to talk to her” pleaded Jay before the woman could disappear inside the posh house.<br/>“I’m sorry I can’t help you” the woman insisted in a clipped tone.<br/> “We just need to talk to her” Kelly explained growing agitated, he understood that the woman was trying to protect her friend but in his opinion Nancy Casey wasn’t someone who deserved protecting.  The only person who deserved help was the son she had abandoned.<br/>“Please get off my yard” snapped the woman.<br/>“No, we’re not leaving until you tell us where Nancy Casey is” yelled Kelly as he sat down on the steps of her porch.<br/>“Kelly I think we better go” urged Jay as he observed the woman in front of them, she was clutching her phone ready to call someone, the last thing they needed was for the cops to turn up. Jay grabbed Kelly’s sleeve and tried tugging the other boy up into a standing position but the dark haired teen refused to move.<br/>“No, what’s the worst that can happen I end up in prison with Matt, maybe we’ll even get to be cell mates” responded Kelly snidely with a fake smile plastered on his face. <br/>“Look we mean no harm but if you know anything at all that could help us we’d be really grateful” explained Jay turning towards the lady with his hands raised in mock surrender.<br/>“What did you mean by ending up in prison like Matt, I thought he’d ran away” she inquired in a weak voice, she was beginning to fill up with doubt.<br/>“No, they charged him with his fathers death, he’s in juvie awaiting trial” informed Jay with a hint of sadness in his voice.<br/>“He wouldn’t be in juvie if it wasn’t for his useless mother taking off” Kelly spat with a look of disgust, Benny may have abandoned him but at least he didn’t leave him locked up.<br/>“Shit” cursed the woman scrubbing a hand across her face.<br/>“What have I done” she mumbled before sitting down next to Kelly and holding her head in her hands.<br/>“I’m sorry, I should’ve known she was lying” sighed the woman. She knew how manipulative Nancy Casey could be but she still let the other woman fool her into helping.</p><p>“God I was such an idiot”  the woman rambled before looking up at Jay who was watching her with a passive expression. <br/>“She’s gone, I just dropped her off at the airport” sighed the woman, Suddenly Kelly felt bile rise in his throat as his heart threatened to explode.<br/>“Where did she go?” asked Kelly fighting the panic spreading over him.<br/>“Don’t know, I didn’t ask” the woman admitted flushing with embarrassment.<br/>“You didn’t ask?” Kelly questioned incredulously, if he paid for a friend’s plane ticket he’d want to know where they were going.<br/>“I didn’t want to overwhelm her, she seemed really shaken up, her husband had just died” the woman reasoned in a voice weighed down with regret.<br/>“Oh she was shaken up, imagine how Matt feels, his father tried to kill him, his mother abandoned him and then he was locked up for trying to keep himself alive” yelled Kelly jumping up off the steps, he began angrily pacing around kicking at a few stray pebbles littering the path. Matt was like his little brother and he’d abandoned him, he was just as bad as Nancy Casey. If Kelly hadn’t been busy blaming Matt for Andy’s death he would have noticed how bad things had gotten in the Casey residence.<br/>“Hey I know you’re mad, I am too but we’ll find another way to help Matt” said Jay standing up and placing a hand on Kelly’s shoulder supportively. He looked over at the crestfallen woman sat on the steps before continuing,<br/>“Besides it’s not her fault, you know how conniving Nancy is”. Kelly nodded minutely before muttering an apology to the woman watching them carefully. Her sympathy for the two boys only increased the guilt whirring around her stomach.<br/>“Have you got any idea where she may have gone or if she’s ever coming back?” questioned Kelly desperately.<br/>“No I’m sorry” sighed the woman, she had met Nancy at college, they had been good friends but over the years they had drifted apart. She’d only seen Nancy a handful of times over the last ten years, she’d seen Matt even less. But from what she saw she could tell Matt was a good kid, Nancy had told her that after Matt killed Gregory Casey in self defence he took off before the police arrived, she thought it was odd that Nancy wasn’t out searching for a her son; however she had assumed that Nancy was just reeling from grief and shock. She couldn’t believe how naive she had been.<br/>“I’m really sorry about Matt but there’s nothing I can do to help you” admitted the woman dejectedly.</p><p>-</p><p>The two boys trudged away from the bus stop feeling completely useless, the ride home had been shrouded in silence as neither of the boys knew what to say. That had been their last shot at helping Matt, they felt like the entire universe was against them helping their friend. As they neared Jay’s house they spotted a familiar car parked outside. Maybe their day was about to brighten up after all . The two boys sped up their pace until they could see Hank Voight sat in the drivers seat, curiosity filled the boy’s as the window was slowly rolled down, they were eager to discover why the Sergeant had been waiting for them . Voight carefully studied the two exhausted looking boys in front of him.<br/>“Heard you two got suspended” revealed Voight with amusement seeping into his voice, Donna had informed of the incident in the cafeteria, it had instantly increased his fondness for the two boys. He admired their loyalty towards Matt, the blonde boy definitely needed friends like them watching his back.<br/>“Yeah” mumbled Jay shifting from side to side as he felt the man silently analysing them.<br/>“How do you feel about taking a little trip to see Matt? Don’t worry I cleared it with your guardians” asked Voight with a smile, since he’d met the boys they’d been pestering him to see Matt. The blonde had been refusing visitors ever since the incident with Christie but after a tough week he’d calmed down and all the anger he had been harbouring had morphed into self loathing and distress, the boy desperately needed comfort from a friend or two. Both boys gawped at the man before eagerly nodding and jumping inside the car. They’d wanted nothing more than to see their friend. They both missed their little brother.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you enjoyed this chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. One last chance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Two visitors bring the severity of Matt’s situation to light.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi I’m really sorry for the large delay in updating. I’ve had this chapter written for months but kept putting off proofreading and editing . I’m not sure if any one is enjoying this which is why I’ve been prioritising other works. But I do have fun writing this, updates won’t be frequent but I’ve not given up on this story yet.</p><p>Any criticism welcome<br/>Hope you enjoy this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eight days, that’s how long it’d been since Matt had killed his father but to the blonde it felt more like eight seconds. His mind was trapped in his memory of the horrible night.Blood still stained his fingertips, the sound of his fathers last breath lingered in his ears, he could feel the cold handle of the knife in his hand and see the light disappearing from his fathers eyes. His heart ached and his body no longer felt like it belonged to him, he didn’t even recognise himself anymore, he’d truly lost everything. </p><p> </p><p>Just like every other day shortly after waking up and getting changed he was led into a large canteen for breakfast, automatically he grabbed his food before sitting down at an empty table. He didn't take a single bite, he hadn’t eaten anything since he’d arrived in the prison, in fact he could barely remember how  to breathe. Once breakfast was over he was vaguely aware that he was being taken to a familiar small room. Over the past few days visits from sergeant Voight had been a regular occurrence, the detective had been attempting to question him about his father, but Matt hadn’t uttered a word since his sisters visit; he had nothing to say. He was guilty and that was all that mattered to him. </p><p>As he stepped further inside the room surprise washed over him, Voight was stood in the corner of the room which wasn’t unusual, but what had shocked Matt was the two boys sat at the table. He couldn’t believe they were there, especially given the fact they hated each other. He wondered for a second if his mind had finally snapped and he was starting to see things. <br/>“Hey Matt” greeted Jay as he offered Matt a small smile, but the blonde simply glared. It didn’t matter to Matt if they were a hallucination or not, he didn’t want them there. <br/>“What are they doing here?” Matt asked turning towards Voight ignoring the two boys staring at him hopefully.  He doubted they really wanted to be there. He hadn’t spoken to Kelly since their fight and Jay only ever looked out for him out of pity. <br/>“They care about you Matt” replied Voight. The detective didn’t seem bothered by Matt’s standoffish nature, after the past week he’d grown used to it. Matt could tell by the way the corners of the detectives mouth quirked that he was relieved to finally hear his voice again. Matt would never understand why the man cared so much. <br/>“Since when” scoffed Matt, he wasn’t in the mood for their pity. He wanted to be left alone, he was too tired to listen their fake concern. <br/>“Matt I’m sorry-“ began Jay but he was abruptly cut off by an annoyed Matt. <br/>“I don’t need your pity or your guilt, I don’t anything from you”, Matts voice sounded tired and any attempts to sound angry quickly failed. He was slowly shutting down, with every day that passed it became harder to function, he doubted he’d last another week.<br/>“Come on Matt you’ve got nothing to lose just sit down” instructed Voight, the boy looked at him him a sullen expression before dropping down in the empty chair.<br/>“How are you Matt?” Asked Jay with a friendly smile. Both Matt and Kelly shot him an incredulous look.<br/>“Right, stupid question” admitted Jay sheepishly. Before the boy had chance to speak again a thought popped into his head. He looked at Jay a hopeful expression as he struggled to contain his sudden burst of faith. <br/>“Have you heard from my mum”. Matt regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, identical expressions of pity appeared on his friends face and Matt felt his heart shatter. He should’ve known, she didn’t care about him anymore. As a tense silence descended on them Matt‘s thoughts became unbearable, it was like someone was screaming inside of his head. How could he have been so stupid? Of course his mother had left now she finally had the chance, she’d been dreaming of her escape for years but for some reason Matt had always believed she’d take him with her. <br/>“She’s gone isn’t she” whispered Matt when both Jay and Kelly gave him a dejected look. He already knew the answer but he needed to hear the words. <br/>“Yeah, I don’t think she’s coming back Matty” admitted Jay softly. <br/>“God everything’s so messed up”.<br/>“Matt it’s going to be ok” assured Jay lamely Matt could tell Jay didn’t believe his own words. His mother was gone, his sister had left too, and his dad. His dad was dead. He’d killed the one person Matt knew would have never abandoned him. Matt had wished for years the older man would disappear but his father had assured him he’d always be there, unlike his father.  A large wave of guilt surged inside Matt’s chest.<br/>“I didn’t mean to kill him, I swear”, he didn’t know why but it was important to him that they knew he never planned it.<br/>“We know Matt, and the jury will see it that way too” cut in Voight startling Matt, in his upset he had forgotten about the man’s presence. Before Matt had chance to argue Jay spoke up again, it wasn’t lost on Matt that Kelly was yet to say anything. Matt didn’t understand why he’d bothered to come. <br/>“You’ll be out of here soon Matt”.<br/>“What’s the point, there’s nothing left for me back home, hell I don’t have a home anymore”. His house had never been a place of comfort but at least he had somewhere he belonged. <br/>“Come on Matt, you cant give up now”<br/>“I can’t do this anymore” his voice shook and eyes began to sting with unshod tears. He started to stand up when  Kelly reached out across the table placing a hand softly on his arm.<br/>“Please Matty don’t give up, I cant loose another friend”.</p><p>-</p><p>“You’ve got to get him out of there” pleaded Kelly as soon as they reached Hanks car. Hank scrubbed a hand across his face. It had filled his heart with agony when they had to leave Matt behind in that horrible place. He would never understand how Nancy Casey could walk out on her son. Matt reminded him so much of Justin especially his loyalty and love for his mother. But that only deepened his hate towards Nancy. Voight’s little boy was currently faced with losing his own mother, but Camilla was fighting with every fibre of body to be there for her, while Nancy Casey had abandoned the son without a second thought, the very son who only ever wanted to protect her. Nancy wasn’t coming back meaning Hank had to find someone else and soon. He had one idea left, he’d been reluctant to use it but he had well and truly ran out of other options. <br/>“There’s one more person I can try”.</p><p>-</p><p>A little while later Hank found himself parking outside a cozy house thankfully not too far from where Jay lived. After dropping the two somber boys off at home the car had felt too quiet, he knew he should’ve been going home but the longer he drove the more his need to help Matt took over. He’d planned to leave this until the next day so he could get home in time to see Justin before he went to bed, but right now Matt needed him more. Hank took one last deep breath before jumping out of his car and starting up the brick path. The garden was overgrown and the house was silent, it was nothing like the lively welcoming home Hank had first visited over a decade ago. But he guessed a lot of things had changed. A tight know was forming in his stomach. This was his last chance at helping Matt, he didn’t know what else to do and he certainly didn’t think Matt could last another week in juvie. It wasn’t the other inmates Hank was worried about it was the demons inside Matt’s head, he didn’t think the young blonde could hand them on his own for much longer. Not long after knocking the door he heard footsteps approaching. The sergeant smiled when a tired looking woman answered the door, her expression was one of shock as her eyes settled on the man in front of her.<br/>“Hi Trudy, how are you doing?” He greeted calmly but he knew she would instantly see through his calm facade. Hank normally visited her once a month, him showing up unannounced two weeks after his last visit was a clear sign something was wrong.<br/>“What do you need Hank?” She asked immediately. As Hank looked at the bags underneath her eyes he wondered if he was making mistake, maybe Trudy wasn’t ready. Before he could change his mind he remembered how broken Matt had seemed earlier, the boy didn’t need to be taken in by Mary Poppins he just needed someone to get him out of prison. <br/>“There’s a boy who-“ but Hank was cut off by a frown appearing on Trudy’s face as she began shaking her head.<br/>“No Hank, I don’t do that anymore” she declared in a firm voice as a steely look appeared on her face. <br/>“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t desperate” pleaded Hank. He sympathised with the woman and her reasons for refusing, but Matt needed her.<br/>“I can’t I'm sorry ” she sighed as she looked at Hank with eyes full of pain and grief.  Tentatively Hank placed an arm her shoulder, he understood her heart was still broken and he wished he could take her pain away. She’d confided in him a few months ago that she couldn’t take another child into her house, she couldn’t risk feeling the pain of loosing someone again, not after Nadia. But Hank hoped hearing Matt’s story would change her mind, he knew Trudy and he had faith that she’d want to help the teen. <br/>“Please, just take him for one week then I can move him somewhere else” pleaded Hank causing Trudy to still.<br/>“What changes in a week?” she asked intrigued. Hank felt relief wash over him at the shift in Trudy’s demeanour, he had a feeling he was close to getting through to her. <br/>“He’s awaiting sentencing, his mother took off so he’s being held in juvie until then. I can scrape together the money for bail but there’s nowhere for him to go even if I do get him out” explained Hank.  He hoped that would persuade her, One week meant she wouldn’t end up getting attached, she wouldn’t end up getting hurt again. She could offer the boy a place to stay and then in seven days he’d be out of her life, another foster family would be able to take him in once he was cleared of charges. Hank‘s heart thumped in his chest as he waited for a reply, just as he was beginning to lose hope a spark appeared in her eyes.<br/>“Give me a day to sort out the spare bedroom”,<br/>“Thank you Trudy”.</p><p>- </p><p>It’s just one week Trudy reminded herself as she watched Hank’s car disappear into the distance. The detective had given her the full run down on Matt and her heart ached for the boy. She couldn’t let him spend any longer locked up despite her original reluctance. When she lost Nadia her heart had been completely ripped out, she hadn’t thought she’d ever look after another child again but Hank was right Matt was desperate.  After all it was only for a week, how attached could you get to a person after only seven days?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you enjoyed. Sorry for any mistakes I’ve struggled proofreading a lot lately.<br/>This wasn’t my original plan but April420 gave me the suggestion of Trudy as a foster parent and it’s been on my mind ever since. </p><p>Have a brilliant day.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Scepticism</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Voight introduces Matt to an old friend.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry I’ve really struggled writing lately, this week was the first time in ages I had the motivation but unfortunately I haven’t had the time. Sorry my  proofreading is quite rough lately as well.</p><p>Hope you enjoy.</p><p>Thank you for your support</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Matt stared out oft the car window with a dazedly expression. He’d been stuck in a state of disbelief ever since Voight had turned up at the prison with the news that he’d finally found somewhere for him to go.  Initially Matt had thought it was a cruel joke, after all why on earth would anybody want to take him in? As his shock began to fade fear began to set in, why would somebody want to take him in? He doubted they were being paid a lot if anything at all ; he knew it was difficult enough for Hank to get the money to pay his bail. If it wasn’t money it had to be something else. His own mother had turned her back on him so surely there must be some kind of incentive for a complete stranger to take him in. Maybe they were one of those saviour types, someone who wanted to fix everyone but they’d soon realise Matt was too broken. Whatever they expected to gain from having him around Matt doubted it would end well for him. </p><p>“You’ll be staying with an old friend of mine”  announced Hank and Matt felt a tiny surge of relief. They were just doing Voight a favour. Maybe they’d just lock him away in a small room until his trial. When Matt remained silent Hank continued talking in a calm voice in an attempt to get a response. But the teen paid no attention to the sergeants words instead he focused on the duffel bag in his lap. Voight had told him that he’d been to his house to pick up a few of his belongings. Matt doubted it was hard for the man to pack his things, it’s not like he had many belongings anyway, his parents had never had a lot of money and what they did have was used for the bills and other essentials. His parents had been fine financially before he was born but another child meant more expenses. Since he was born he’d brought nothing but trouble to his parents lives.</p><p>“She’s a really good person kid” assured the detective when the finally car came to a stop. However Matt didn’t believe him anymore than he did the first two times. <br/>“She’s been a foster parent for over ten years, there’s nothing you can do that she hasn’t dealt with before”,  Matt nodded numbly in response. Hank’s reassurances weren’t doing anything to ease his nerves. The blonde knew all too well how easy it was for someone to appear perfect to the outside world. Everybody had loved his dad. They never saw the monster behind the charismatic smile. A strong hand landing on his shoulder caused fear to spike through Matt’s body. Matt flinched away before turning to see Hank giving him a sympathetic smile.<br/>“Sorry kid, I couldn’t get your attention” Voight apologised and Matt found himself filling with embarrassment. Thankfully there was no time for Matt to stew as Hank started to exit the car,<br/>“Come on she’ll be waiting for us”.</p><p>Hesitantly Matt followed Hank towards the house, it was bigger than he’d expected. When they reached the front porch Matt directed his gaze to his shoes. He took in a deep breath as He listened to the sound of the doorbell echoing trough the air. A few seconds later he heard the door open but kept his head down. A naive part of him hoped that if he stared at the floor long enough it would eventually swallow him up.  Unfortunately he felt Hank move closer and softly whisper into his ear,<br/>“Head up kid”. Obediently Matt lifted his head and kept his mouth pressed into a tight line as his eyes landed on a friendly looking woman. <br/>“Hey Trudy, thanks again”,<br/>“It’s no problem Hank, come on in Matt ”. The teen glanced at Hank who gave him a small nod. Matt urged his feet to move but his entire body felt stiff and heavy. All of the sudden he found himself missing the prison, after nine days he’d grown used to it, he’d always known exactly what to expect. The guards didn’t like him very much and they made no secret of it. As for the other inmates they ignored him as long as he stayed out of their way. However Trudy was a complete mystery, there was a brightness in her eyes that reminded him of Jay’s mother. She even had the same kind smile. Her friendly demeanour seemed too good to be true. If she really was such a great person then why wasn’t she fostering any other kids. Why would a kind caring an individual have an empty house? Feeling two pairs of eyes staring at him he eventually managed to unglue his feet from the floor and stumble into the unfamiliar house. He didn’t have chance to study the tiny entryway as Trudy wasted no time in leading him into a small living room.</p><p>At Hank’s instruction he sat down on the old couch in the middle of the room, while still clutching tightly onto his duffel bag. As the two adults sat down he allowed his eyes to wander around the room, quickly he found his attention being  drawn to the many photos littered across the walls.  It didn’t take him long to conclude that the photos must have been of all the children she’d fostered,  there’d clearly been a lot of them. Despite there being so many children they all had one thing in common,they were all quite a bit younger than him. Matt groaned inwardly as he wondered if that meant he was in for a week of being fussed over and treated like a lost lamb. He knew most kids his age would have ended up in a group home;  he wasn’t oblivious to the fact his upcoming trial and the charges against him were the only reason he hadn’t. Trudy was probably out of her depths looking after him, Matt hoped her inexperience with teenagers would mean she’d leave him alone. He hoped he wouldn’t end up playing board games and eating spaghetti hoops. He just wanted to be left alone. </p><p>When he heard Trudy call his name he reluctantly pried his eyes away from the photos and turned back towards the woman. Her shoulders were slumped and there was a tired look in her eyes, but Matt wasn’t really one to judge. He’d caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror of Hank’s car, his skin was a pale shade of grey,  dark bags rested under his eyes and angry red scratches still marked his hands. Trudy’s words further confirmed that he was in a sorry state. <br/>“Matt you’ve had a rough few days, why don’t we get you settled in?” she asked in a gentle tone. He gave a minute nod of his head and watched as the lady rose to her feet and headed towards the stairs. He followed after her with Hank right behind him, he was grateful for the man’s presence as he’d grown to trust the detective over the past few days. Even though he’d never admit it he was dreading the inevitable moment Hank would have to leave.</p><p> </p><p>Matt kept his head down as Trudy lead him up the stairs and into a cozy room.  Before he’d even stepped fully inside Trudy was already uttering and apology. <br/>“I’m sorry it’s not much” . At the sincerity in her tone Matt felt a tug in his heart, she wasn’t at all what he’d been expecting. There was no pity in her eyes and her gentle tone made him feel like he’d known her for years. For a brief second he found himself forgetting she was being forced into taking him in. <br/>“No, it’s ... it’s fine” stammered Matt as he took in his surroundings. It was better than fine in fact it was nicer than his old room but he wasn’t going to let her know that. Trudy may have seemed nice but that didn’t mean she wouldn't judge him. His life had been under microscope the past two weeks and he was tired of every little detail about his family being scrutinised. Feeling as if he she was waiting for him to do something he walked towards the bed in the corner of the room and dropped his bag down onto it.<br/>“Well I guess I’ll give you time to wash up, the bathroom is across the hall. Dinner will be ready in half an hour” Trudy informed before disappearing out of the room leaving him with Hank. <br/>“You alright kid?”<br/>“Yeah” Matt murmured as he stared at his feet. He didn’t want the sergeant to see the fear in his eyes. He wasn’t ready for Voight to leave . They stood there for a few moments in a tense silence until Hank broke it with a gravelly cough. <br/>“I’m sorry kid I’ve got to go”. Matt felt his heart sink, he had known those words were coming but he still wasn’t ready. He forced himself to give a small nod not wanting Voight to worry. He then waited for the man to disappear but was surprised when Voight stepped towards him. Matt watched in confusion as Hank pulled a small card out of his pocket and offered it to him. Hesitantly Matt took it and examined it closely, he stared in disbelief at the phone number that was displayed under Hanks neatly printed name. He’d never understand why Hank cared enough to give him his phone number, but he’d forever be grateful.<br/>“If you need anything don’t hesitate to call, I’ll stop by on my way to the station tomorrow” promised Voight and guilt enveloped Matt’s heart. The young teen needed Voight but he didn’t want the man to know that, he didn’t want to become his burden. <br/>“You don’t have to do that!” Matt rushed out sounding frantic. <br/>“I want to Matt, I care about you and so does Trudy”.  Before he could stop himself Matt let out a scoff. <br/>“Matt she does care I promise, just give her a chance”. Guilt continued consume Matt and he found himself pressured into agreeing. <br/>“Ok, bye Hank” he replied in a weak tone. It was painfully clear Matt didn’t believe his own words. <br/>“See you soon Kid”, and with that Matt found himself all alone. It was just him and his thoughts.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you enjoyed.</p><p>Have a brilliant day. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Trapped</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The three boys struggle to cope as they found themselves trapped inside a never ending nightmare.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warning: alcoholism. The rest of the trigger warnings still stand.</p><p>Hope you enjoy. This isn’t the best chapter I’ve written but I’ve been struggling writing a little lately. Any advice appreciated. Thank you so much for your support.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Not hungry?” Asked a calm voice capturing Matt’s attention. The blonde looked up at the woman wearing a gentle smile before looking back down at his full plate. He couldn’t bare eating anything,  it all tasted like cardboard and he didn’t have the energy to force himself. He didn’t care if she’d be offended by his refusal he was too tired to care about anything anymore.  He wasn’t even sure how long he’d been sitting in the dining room staring at his food, five minutes maybe ten he wasn’t sure everything was all blurred together for him. He hadn’t spoken a single word to Trudy since Hank had left and to his surprise she’d barely spoken a word to him. <br/>“That’s ok, but if you get hungry later on just let me know”, he didn’t bother to nod he doubted she meant it. Soon enough she’d get tired of being nice they all did eventually.<br/>“Look Matt I know it’s only for a week but why don’t we lay down some ground rules so we know what to expect of each other”. Matt continued to look down as if he hadn’t heard her, but she was undeterred by his silence <br/>“Always let me know before you leave the house and be back by seven, I don’t mind if you want your friends to come over, Hank told me about them they sound like good people”. It didn’t take long for Matt’s attention to switch off but from he did hear he knew she didn’t have many rules, at least not compared to his dads. Also most of her rules were about keeping in line with the conditions of his bail, she didn’t seem half as strict as his dad but Matt wasn’t about to let his guard down yet. </p><p>After a while Matt found his attention drifting back towards Trudy, she had finished her speech about the ground rules and had begun to tell him a bit about herself. She used to be a desk sergeant that definitely didn’t surprise him, after seeing her no beating around the bush approach to life he’d suspected she was some sort of police officer or had been in the army. However he wasn’t expecting to hear that she’d been shot in the line of duty he’d gaped at that before remembering himself and returning to staring back down at his plate. He kept his head down but this time he continued to listen despite what he wanted her to believe he was slightly interested.<br/>“Is there anything I need to know about you?” She asked and Matt briefly looked up at her in confusion. He shrunk down in his chair as he mumbled,<br/>“You already know everything”.<br/>“I know what happened, I don’t know anything about you”. You’re never going to thought Matt bitterly as he continued to look anywhere but at her. He could feel himself getting more uncomfortable by the second and his heart was pounding in his chest. <br/>“Can I go back upstairs now” he rushed out already rising to his feet, <br/>“Yeah of course, I’ll be down here for a little while if you need to talk”. Wordlessly Matt headed headed for the stairs without looking back at Trudy. He’d be gone soon there was no point in pretending to be anything but a nuisance, she was just doing a favour for Hank she didn’t really care about him. Nobody did.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>An annoying squeaking sound echoed around the playground causing Jay to cringe. He was on one of the few remaining swings. Despite the noise that came from it occasionally the old swing was still better than the bench near the entrance that was falling apart. The cold air nipped at his hands as he held onto the metal chains.  He stared up at the sky and watched as the sun began to slip it away. He let his mind drift until a quiet voice brought him back down to earth,<br/>“Do you think things will get better for Matt now?”.  Jay slowly turned to his head to look at Kelly who was sat on the other swing beside him, the teens mouth was pressed into a tight line and Jay could see the fear in his eyes, Jay was pretty sure the same scared look was printed across his face.  Fortunately there was no one else around to see the boy’s masks slip. Thanks to the  freezing cold weather and fast approaching darkness the park was completely deserted, it gave them the perfect place to talk in private. As much as Jay would’ve preferred to have stayed in the warm comfort of his own home he couldn’t risk Will listening in, he didn’t want the curious boy to start worrying even more.<br/>“I don’t know” replied Jay as he struggled to suppress a shiver. They’d received a message from  Hank that the detective had finally gotten Matt temporarily released from juvie. Despite the good news it was definitely not a time to celebrate, their focus was now firmly on Matt’s fast approaching trial. Jay knew no matter what the verdict was the entire process would be incredibly hard on Matt, he wasn’t sure if his friend would last long enough to hear the juries ruling. It was no secret that Matt was filled with guilt. Everyone who knew Matt well knew hearing  the prosecution’s arguments would only worsen the blondes already fragile mental state. Jay scrubbed a hand across his face before speaking in a tone full of regret <br/>“Do you think we could have-“<br/>“Stop” interrupted Kelly but his tone was devoid of any anger and in fact any emotion at all. The other was clearly as tired Jay felt, they both just wanted this nightmare to end. <br/>“There’s no point dwelling on it, all we can do is be there for him” stated Kelly and Jay nodded solemnly. But he was starting to wonder if they were enough, Jay wasn’t the same determined person he used to be and from what he could tell Kelly wasn’t doing too well either. </p><p> </p><p>Swiftly Jay walked towards his house, he and Kelly had parted ways for the night and he was determined to get home before he froze to death. As he reached his street a frown immediately appeared on his face. Oh god no mumbled Jay as he sped up the pace towards his house. A small figure was sat on the steps of his house. As he got closer his a tight knot formed in his stomach, Will was sat outside a thick blanket draped around his shoulders and tear tracks staining his face. There was only one reason why Will would wait outside for him in the freezing cold and just thinking about it sent a shiver down Jay’s spine .<br/>“Will are you ok?” He asked as he stood in front of his younger brother his eyes scanning for any signs of injuries. He breathed a small sigh of relief when he realised the boy was unharmed but his worry returned when Will looked up at him with a stare full of anger, <br/>“You said you’d be back soon” the boy said as he angrily scrubbed at the fresh tears that had leaked from his eyes. Jay found his heart aching with guilt, Will had begged him to stay but he’d gone anyway after promising he’d be back soon. He hadn’t meant to get so carried away talking to Kelly; a few weeks ago they wouldn’t have willingly stood in the same room as each other let alone talk for hours.<br/>“I’m sorry I lost track of time”,<br/>“You’ve been gone for three hours” yelled Will cutting off his lame apology. Jay watched sullenly as Will bolted to his feet and headed for the front door.  Eventually he shook himself out of his shocked state and attempted attempted to follow the red head.<br/>“ I’m sorry look I-“ Jay began to stutter out another apology but was cut off by Will turning around with a look of pure anger on his face. <br/>“You knew he was in a bad mood!”. Jay swallowed he knew what Will really meant, he knew his father was drinking again but he’d left Will behind anyway. Before he had a chance to speak again Will stormed inside slamming the door behind him leaving Jay staring numbly at the now empty porch.</p><p>He stood their frozen with guilt and shock until his skin began to sting from the harsh air. Jay’s hand hovered over the door handle as he prepared himself for what he knew was going to be a rough night. Finally he opened the door and stepped into the living room immediately his heart plummeted. Various items were strewn across the room but Jays eyes were drawn to the television or more specifically the cracks that now littered the screen. As he shuffled further into the room he noticed the many empty bottles of alcohol lying on the floor, it was hardly a surprise but it still hurt to see. His dad had been sober for nearly a month, when Jay found empty alcohol bottles lying in the trash a few days ago he’d really hoped it was just a small slip. He wasn’t sure he could do all this again. Ever since their mother died  their lives had been plagued by their fathers drinking habit. Not so long ago alcohol had almost ripped their family apart, Jay didn’t think he could keep everything together this time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is still a Matt centric story. But I enjoy shedding more light on Jay’s life and hopefully will include more of Kelly too. They’ve all got complicated backgrounds that are interesting to explore. I hope you don’t mind.</p><p>Have an awesome day. Thank you for reading!  :)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading the story so far.</p><p>Don’t worry I’m still writing it going to be ok. </p><p>Thank you and have a great day.</p><p>Any criticism welcome : )</p></blockquote></div></div>
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